Spiritual Fulfillment - Don't Forget the Adults!

A couple of months ago, Brian and I switched to a new church in Concord.  It's still a Catholic church, so we didn't switch because of any crisis of faith, but our needs were not being met by our old church (which shall not be named.)

For the past couple of years we have been in "survival" mode.  We didn't really have time to be very active in our congregation.  It was hard enough for us to make it to Mass on Sunday, and we didn't have any left over energy for anything else.  But even in "survival" mode, we didn't feel quite "at home" in our old church.

There was a very strong focus on teenagers and children.  The church had TONS of programs for their youth.  Children were taken out of Mass during the readings and came back for communion (they got a watered-down version in a separate location.)  The music at Mass was almost always accompanied by drums, electric guitars, and sometimes even a little saxophone/trumpet jazz ensemble.  The music was upbeat and "hip."  Ten years ago, I would have loved it.  Everyone goes through that "teenager mentality," and I was no different.  But here's the thing...I grew up.

These days, I like the more "traditional" music to be played at Mass.  It helps me focus on the Eucharist and my prayers and intentions.  It helps me feel calm and present in my worship.  Also, our old church seemed to forget about what I will call the "average-aged" people.  There were extra programs for the youth, there were even a few extra programs for seniors, but there wasn't much offered for people who fell between these two age extremes.  Also, I have a huge problem with removing children from church.  I believe that by going to church when you are young, you learn how to behave in church.  If a child doesn't understand a reading, maybe their parents could go over it with them before or after Mass.  I just felt like these kids I saw traipsing out every Sunday were being denied a very important experience.

Finally, my last complaint is a bit petty.  At our old church, it felt like every single homily boiled down to one message: "Give more money to the church."  It didn't matter what the gospel was, that was the message of the week.  And the message wasn't even "Give what you can, even if you have no money, you could still give time or effort."  Nope, it was straight up begging for money every week.  The congregation was large and clearly wealthy, and in the bulletin it looked like they were collecting more than they spent, so I don't know what the deal was.

Our new church is wonderful.  It still has tons of programs for the youth of the congregation.  It has a children's Mass (children do the readings, sing in the choir, etc.)  It has a Mass for teens in the evening.  But right in the middle of the day, there is a traditional Mass that we attend.  There is a Bible study starting in a month that I will attend.  When we signed up as new parishioners, Brian and I were presented with dozens of stewardship opportunities.  These priests ask the congregation to be involved and active in their faith, not just throw money at stuff.  It is just wonderful, and we are so happy we switched churches.

After Mass, we sometimes go to Concord Mills mall and walk around.  Sometimes we stop for lunch at Panera (we didn't do either today, btw).  I love the new relaxing drive to church through winding back roads instead of hectic city streets.  Again, I am so happy with our choice.  My cup is truly overflowing.

I guess the point of my post is this...don't forget the adults!  Yes, teens are important.  Yes, their needs must be met, and no, I don't want them to wander away from the church.  But what happens after you are a teen?  Churches, remember that adults have needs too.

The Purge

No, not that horror movie that came out earlier this year.  I am talking about the efforts I have been making this summer.  It is the first time since I got married that I have had an extended amount of time to clean.  Perhaps a little background is in order.

I got married to my wonderful husband one short week after graduating from college.  Everything from my dorm room and childhood bedroom was hurriedly packed in boxes and bins while everyone scrambled with last minute wedding preparations.  After we were married, everything was crammed into our small, one bedroom apartment.  Right after we got back from our honeymoon, I started working full time at Barnes & Noble.  My schedule was not regular, and I would flip between working mornings and evenings.  Brian was still finishing up his senior year of college.  We unpacked most of the boxes, but many of them were just shoved in the closet or under the bed.  A few acted as nightstands.

After a year or so, we moved into our current house.  I continued to work and B&N full time until the day I started going back to school full time.  After I finished school (and one semester of student teaching), I immediately started working full time as a teacher.  That summer was spent traveling to various family functions and on a wonderful vacation.  We were never home for more than a week at a time.  Another year of teaching went by, and that brings us to this summer.

Up until now, my cleaning has been minimal.  The essentials get done, like bathrooms, kitchen counters, dining room table, vacuuming, etc.  But the "extra" stuff has been ignored.  Baseboards have not been cleaned, knick-knacks gather dust, windows have not been washed, mending has piled up...you get the picture.  The first week of my summer vacation was spent sleeping and visiting family.  By the time the second week rolled around, I was ready to tackle my Herculean task of cleaning four years worth of mess.  I began by attacking the kitchen.  The refrigerator was completely emptied and each shelf was washed in the sink.  The counters were completely emptied and then reorganized.  The cupboards and pantry were reorganized as well.

Then I attacked the dining room/living room.  Furniture was shifted around.  Piles of "stuff" were either thrown away or put away.  Fan blades were dusted.  The bathrooms were next.  The cupboards under the sinks were reorganized.  Counters were cleaned and re-organized to maximize space.  Finally, the time came for the task that I had been dreading: the bedroom.

Remember all of those boxes that hadn't been unpacked since college?  Yeah, some of those were sitting at the back of my closet.  For four years, if company was coming and I had stuff that needed to "disappear" without going in the trash, I would shove it under the bed or in the closet.  It was ridiculous.  After a week or so of just focusing on the bedroom/closet, I had plenty to show for my effort.  I threw away 6 garbage bags worth of stuff.  I gave 7 more bags to Goodwill.

The 7 bags of clothes (well, 1 had shoes in it)

I was flabbergasted by how much I had to get rid of.  It's not like I'm a hoarder or anything.  It's just that for years, I have had a system for throwing things away.  If it is obviously trash (old food, empty packaging, etc.), I throw it away.  If it is obviously not trash (something I use all the time), I put it away.  But then there is that weird middle ground...stuff that is slightly broken and could possibly be fixed, stuff that I don't use very often but might use someday, gifts from a loved one that I know I won't use, but don't want to chuck in the trash right after I get it.  These items are usually the ones that end up in the closet or under the bed, and as I throw them in there I promise myself that I will deal with them "later."  Well, later has come.  If clothes didn't fit anymore, I got rid of them.  If I hadn't worn them in the past year, I got rid of them.  Everything that just needed "minor repairs" but hadn't been touched in years, I threw away.  My closet and bureau were completely reorganized for ease of use.

I have to say, purging feels wonderful.  Don't get me wrong, I still love to have stuff.  I am still an American consumer, and Lord knows I love to shop.  But getting rid of junk and clutter is incredibly liberating.  I still have plenty of stuff to clean...the craft room, the computer room, the garage.  And I am definitely more of a "messy" person than a "neat" person.  But right now, my house is looking awesome and I am feeling even better.

An accurate depiction of how I am feeling

Archery lessons and caramel apples

I'm back!  I haven't been too active online lately...mainly because nothing too interesting has been happening.  Brian and I went to his cousin's wedding in June.  It was incredibly lovely and romantic.  Also, it was great to visit with his family.  In normal life, I have been cleaning and reorganizing my home.  Again, not too exciting, but it keeps me busy.  For the most part, I have been enjoying being present in my life and spending time with my very wonderful husband.

Yesterday, I had a wonderful mother-daughter day with my mom.  We began by going to South Park mall and walking around, window shopping, and catching up.  We ate lunch in the food court (the most AMAZING Greek salad wraps) and grabbed a caramel/chocolate/nut covered apple (also AMAZING) before going to the main event of the day: an archery lesson.

At this point, you might be thinking, "Well, that's a bit random."  And perhaps it was.  Learning how to shoot a bow and arrow is always something I've wanted to do, so that's what we did on our special day together.  It turned out to be a lot of fun.  My arm is slightly sore today, but I am really glad that I did it.

How I thought I looked

How I actually looked

After our lesson, we came back home and played some games with Brian and visited some more.  Eventually, it was time for my mom to leave, so we said our good-byes.  Yesterday made me realize how very lucky I am.  I'm lucky to have such an awesome mother, one who will take an archery lesson with me and wants to spend time with me.  I'm lucky to have a husband who is not threatened by my closeness with my family and actually encourages me to spend time with them.  I'm lucky in thousands of ways, even when I don't think my life is "interesting" enough to blog about.