In Sickness and in Health...

So for the past week I have been getting over a pretty nasty cold.  It started out with a sore throat, followed by a simultaneously runny and blocked nose, and finished up with a nice cough.  It was miserable.  My head felt like it was stuffed full of cotton balls, every part of my body ached, and all I wanted to do was sleep and drink juice.  Brian was pretty awesome at taking care of me.  He would fetch me the box of Kleenex, tuck me in while we sat on the couch watching TV, took care of the dogs so I didn't have to, etc.  We both knew that he was next.

I just prayed that he wouldn't get sick before I got better, or we'd both be out of commission at the same time.  And sure enough, the day that I woke up feeling much better, Brian started to complain about a sore throat.  Being married puts an interesting spin on being sick.  You know that when one of you catches something, the other is almost certainly not far behind.  Brian and I will watch each other for symptoms and estimates of how long a particular illness will last.  "Hmmm... You got sick on Sunday and were better by Thursday, so that means if I started to get sick on Wednesday, I should be better by next Sunday."

Of course, everyone's immune system is different.  On some rare occasions, only one of us will get sick.  Sometimes one of us will be sick for a couple of days while the other one is sick for over a week, but usually we can gauge our illnesses by the other's experience.

It is also very easy to see how my relationship with Brian is much deeper than any other relationship I have in our sickness.  When you share a bed, drinks, food, saliva, etc. with someone, you are pretty much opening yourself up for whatever "bugs" they might have.  I have shared living spaces with other people before (parents, sisters, college roommate), but being married is a whole different ballgame.  It also doesn't help that you are usually contagious before any symptoms show up.  But even after one of us is a sneezing ball of mucus, we still cuddle on the couch, kiss each other, share drinks, etc.  As the sick person, it feels very comforting and healing.  As the healthy person, it doesn't feel gross, it just feels like I'm doing something to help the person that I love.

Anyway, the point of this post is that this week has had me musing about one of the lines in our marriage vows: "in sickness and in health."  I know that the idea behind those words is for "big" illnesses, like cancer or Alzheimer's, but I think the little sicknesses are important too.  Hopefully, Brian and I will not ever have to contend with a "big" illness, and "little" illnesses are no picnic.  But it is these moments that make me realize how very lucky I am, how much I love Brian, and how much he loves me.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go blow my nose and drink some juice.

Being a housewife is good for your health

It has been a few months since I quit my job and decided to stay at home.  It used to be the case that as a woman, I would be expected to stay at home once I was married.  These days, it seems that women are expected to work.  When I announced that I would be quitting my job, most people assumed that I was leaving for another job elsewhere.  I suppose that in this economy, that is a fair assumption.  What surprised me was how people reacted when I informed them that I would be staying at home.  Almost every single person expressed concern over my choice, with some people even warning me against my decision.  I was told that it would be bad for my career, that I was throwing my life away.  I was told that I seemed like a person who couldn't stand to be "cooped up" in a house with nothing to do.

Well, it has been several months now.  I have found that not only am I very happy and contented with my situation, but it has made me a healthier person as well.  Here are some observations on the various aspects of my life that have improved:

Physical health:

The benefits of staying at home are most apparent in my improved physical health.  Instead of eating frozen pizza five nights a week, I am able to plan out and cook healthy, filling meals.  Instead of chugging two cups of coffee every morning (and cans of Mountain Dew throughout the day) in an effort to stay awake, I am getting a good night's sleep.  I have time and energy to exercise and go on walks with my husband.  I am no longer trying to eat away my stress.

Without even "trying," I have lost about 25 pounds since I started staying home.  I definitely need to lose a lot more weight, but it's a good start and I feel great.  Also, there are less allergens and dust particles around the home because I finally have time to clean on a regular basis.

Mental health:

When I was working, I had almost no time for recreational activities.  I used to read 4-5 books a day when I was younger and in school, but when I was working I was lucky to manage a book per month.  Since I have started staying home, I have read several books.  I don't think I'll ever get to my childhood levels of reading ever again (curse you adult responsibilities!), but it is wonderful to lose myself in books once again.  I have also been able to have "philosophical" discussions with my husband again.  This is something we did a lot while we were dating, and it was one of the things that fell to the wayside while I was working.  It is something we both missed, and I am so glad to be able to do it again.

Spiritual health:

I've already mentioned in previous posts that while I was working, I took care of my spiritual health in a minimalist, "survival mode" kind of way.  Since I quit my job, I have been able to be more active in my church, including joining a Bible study group.  This kind of ties into mental and social health as well, since I am learning new things and meeting new people.  Also, I have much more time to pray.  I have been adding all sorts of novenas to my daily prayers.  I have been doing daily readings and praying the rosary too.  I was definitely feeling worn down and exhausted while I was working, but I have a much more satisfied spirit now.

Social health:

Suddenly, I have time to socialize.  I am able to get on social networking sites, spend an evening with friends, visit my family for a weekend, etc.  When I was drowning under a pile of work, I pretty much socialized with coworkers and students while at work and my husband while at home.  This is the area of my life that still needs a bit of work, as I am not an extrovert by nature.  Also, I need to work on reconnecting with a lot of my old friends.  But even if it's as simple as having time to walk around a mall with Brian, these little bursts of social activity are just what I needed.

In summary... 

I am very glad that women are able to work and build careers, truly I am.  I also realize how very fortunate I am to be able to stay home, as most people literally NEED two incomes to survive these days.  However, I wish people wouldn't look at me with concern/pity/condescension when I tell them that I am a housewife.  Isn't feminism about being able to choose what makes you happy?  I am educated, smart, busy, accomplished, and most importantly, HAPPY.  The people I love the most are happy.  And at the end of the day...what else really matters?

Happy Days Are Here Again!

It seems like our luck has changed for the better.  Life is pretty awesome right now.  Also, I have the best husband in the universe.

Two weeks ago, Brian came home from work one Monday afternoon and asked me if I wanted to go to Disney World that weekend.  It was his fall break and we would be able to spend 2 days traveling and another 4 days in the parks.  I immediately said yes, and we started looking online to see what was available.  We got the last available room in our preferred hotel, called the kennel to board the dogs, and started packing.  We left on Friday, had four glorious days of fun, and returned home on Wednesday.  It was wonderful.  The weather was still warm, but it wasn't unbearably hot and humid.  Also, the lines were ridiculously short.  We were able to ride Splash Mountain and the roller coaster next to it two times each within an hour.  It was exactly the kind of relaxation we needed.

 The happiest place on Earth!

Brian got us reservations at the Be Our Guest restaurant because I adore Beauty and the Beast

After we got back on Wednesday, we did some laundry and repacked our suitcases because we were leaving on Thursday to go to my cousin's wedding.  It was absolutely beautiful.  Also, I had some of the best food I have ever had in my life.  But best of all, I got to visit with my extended family and enjoy spending time with them.

The best table at the reception

Finally, it was time to come home.  We flew back to Charlotte and walked into our house to see...

Our kitchen had been completely patched, painted, and tiled.  I think it looks much better than it did even before the ceiling fell in.  Brian and I both felt like we were on Extreme Makeover Home Edition, that show where they send the family away for a vacation while they renovate the house.  It was amazing to come home to, and I have been happily moving everything that has been sitting on my dining room table back to its rightful spot in my kitchen.  I feel like I didn't just get a kitchen back, I'm also getting the rest of my house back.

So, yeah...life has been pretty wonderful lately.

A New Month

It is the beginning of a new month, and hopefully it will be better than the previous month.  September 2013 was not the best month for us.  In addition to our previous string of misfortunes, we lost two members of Brian's family; a young cousin and his grandfather.  Sometimes, it gets very difficult to understand what God has planned for us.

Since both of the funerals were occurring at the same time, we could only make it to one, and we chose to attend his grandfather's funeral.  The service was lovely.  So many people came to pay their respects, and it was nice to see Brian's extended family.  A silver lining for a tragic occasion, I suppose.

Yesterday was the feast day of my patron saint (St. Therese of Lisieux).  I am hoping that this is an "omen" of a better month to come.  Most of my attention and energy has been focused on the repairs to our kitchen, which should be underway this week.  In the meantime, I will start to turn my focus to my cousin's upcoming wedding.  I am looking forward to seeing my own family, especially to meeting the two newest additions.

How September 2013 felt

Here's to better days ahead.

Murphy's Law

Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong (at the worst possible time).

That statement could probably sum up my last week.  At first, the week looked quite promising.  I was at the beach with my family for Labor Day weekend, we had a lovely time, the dogs were on their best behavior, etc.  Then on Tuesday, I got some bad news at the doctor's office.  Later that evening, as I was bringing in a load of groceries, I felt a drop of water fall on the back of my neck.  I looked up and saw that my kitchen ceiling was leaking through a tiny hole in the paint.  I called Brian over and he went up to the attic to check it out.  It turns out that the pipe that carries condensation away from our air conditioner had a tiny leak.  Over time, that tiny leak soaked into the insulation over our ceiling, making it super heavy and water-logged.  Finally, the weight became too much for the ceiling to handle, and well... this happened.

Insulation went EVERYWHERE.  I am still finding it in various nooks and crannies.  We called ServPro to come and take care of it, and they arrived at 11 PM on Tuesday night (the ceiling collapsed a little after 8 PM).  They were at the house until 3 AM.  They put a ton of dehumidifiers around, pulled out all of the wet insulation, tore up floorboards, etc.  We scurried around the kitchen gathering everything we could, moving it to the dining room where it would be out of the way.  When we finally got to collapse in bed, I fell right to sleep.

The next morning, Brian got a jury duty summons in the mail.  At any other time, this would be annoying, but after the past two days, it really felt like the universe was taking a giant dump on us.  Oh, and my vacuum cleaner was broken and in the shop, so I couldn't vacuum up the insulation, dirt, dog hair, etc. that was steadily accumulating on my carpet.  We couldn't open our fridge without contaminating the food inside with little floating bits of insulation.  Also, we couldn't use the air conditioner (it was still leaking), so the dehumidifiers made the temperature in our house shoot up to 95 degrees Fahrenheit.  I was incredibly miserable.

And yet...

Things still seemed to work out.  That bad news at the doctor's office?  I had no time to focus on that.  I was way too distracted.  All of the water damage?  Completely limited to the kitchen, and only the ceiling and floor.  No water got into the walls.  Also, no one was hurt when the ceiling collapsed, and our appliances are fine.  The air conditioner was fixed after a day, and the extra heat helped speed up the drying process.  That week we had a lot of social activity planned, so we had dinner at a friend's or family's house every night.  My incredibly amazing mother came over on Saturday and helped me tackle the herculean task of cleaning up my kitchen.  (Seriously, my mom is Superwoman).  It looks like our insurance will cover all of the damage.  I get a new kitchen floor and I get to repaint the kitchen (two things we weren't going to do because we are just going to move in a couple of years when Brian gets his doctorate).  Brian will still go to jury duty and my vacuum cleaner is still in the shop, but these are not Earth shattering events.

On the surface, I had the week from hell.  And if I had a choice, I certainly wouldn't have gone through this week.  But if this had to happen...it happened at the best possible time and in the best possible way.  I cannot control what happened, but I can certainly control how I react and respond to it.  Even though it doesn't always feel like it, God is definitely watching over us and has a plan.  We just have to learn to trust in it.

Spiritual Fulfillment - Don't Forget the Adults!

A couple of months ago, Brian and I switched to a new church in Concord.  It's still a Catholic church, so we didn't switch because of any crisis of faith, but our needs were not being met by our old church (which shall not be named.)

For the past couple of years we have been in "survival" mode.  We didn't really have time to be very active in our congregation.  It was hard enough for us to make it to Mass on Sunday, and we didn't have any left over energy for anything else.  But even in "survival" mode, we didn't feel quite "at home" in our old church.

There was a very strong focus on teenagers and children.  The church had TONS of programs for their youth.  Children were taken out of Mass during the readings and came back for communion (they got a watered-down version in a separate location.)  The music at Mass was almost always accompanied by drums, electric guitars, and sometimes even a little saxophone/trumpet jazz ensemble.  The music was upbeat and "hip."  Ten years ago, I would have loved it.  Everyone goes through that "teenager mentality," and I was no different.  But here's the thing...I grew up.

These days, I like the more "traditional" music to be played at Mass.  It helps me focus on the Eucharist and my prayers and intentions.  It helps me feel calm and present in my worship.  Also, our old church seemed to forget about what I will call the "average-aged" people.  There were extra programs for the youth, there were even a few extra programs for seniors, but there wasn't much offered for people who fell between these two age extremes.  Also, I have a huge problem with removing children from church.  I believe that by going to church when you are young, you learn how to behave in church.  If a child doesn't understand a reading, maybe their parents could go over it with them before or after Mass.  I just felt like these kids I saw traipsing out every Sunday were being denied a very important experience.

Finally, my last complaint is a bit petty.  At our old church, it felt like every single homily boiled down to one message: "Give more money to the church."  It didn't matter what the gospel was, that was the message of the week.  And the message wasn't even "Give what you can, even if you have no money, you could still give time or effort."  Nope, it was straight up begging for money every week.  The congregation was large and clearly wealthy, and in the bulletin it looked like they were collecting more than they spent, so I don't know what the deal was.

Our new church is wonderful.  It still has tons of programs for the youth of the congregation.  It has a children's Mass (children do the readings, sing in the choir, etc.)  It has a Mass for teens in the evening.  But right in the middle of the day, there is a traditional Mass that we attend.  There is a Bible study starting in a month that I will attend.  When we signed up as new parishioners, Brian and I were presented with dozens of stewardship opportunities.  These priests ask the congregation to be involved and active in their faith, not just throw money at stuff.  It is just wonderful, and we are so happy we switched churches.

After Mass, we sometimes go to Concord Mills mall and walk around.  Sometimes we stop for lunch at Panera (we didn't do either today, btw).  I love the new relaxing drive to church through winding back roads instead of hectic city streets.  Again, I am so happy with our choice.  My cup is truly overflowing.

I guess the point of my post is this...don't forget the adults!  Yes, teens are important.  Yes, their needs must be met, and no, I don't want them to wander away from the church.  But what happens after you are a teen?  Churches, remember that adults have needs too.

The Purge

No, not that horror movie that came out earlier this year.  I am talking about the efforts I have been making this summer.  It is the first time since I got married that I have had an extended amount of time to clean.  Perhaps a little background is in order.

I got married to my wonderful husband one short week after graduating from college.  Everything from my dorm room and childhood bedroom was hurriedly packed in boxes and bins while everyone scrambled with last minute wedding preparations.  After we were married, everything was crammed into our small, one bedroom apartment.  Right after we got back from our honeymoon, I started working full time at Barnes & Noble.  My schedule was not regular, and I would flip between working mornings and evenings.  Brian was still finishing up his senior year of college.  We unpacked most of the boxes, but many of them were just shoved in the closet or under the bed.  A few acted as nightstands.

After a year or so, we moved into our current house.  I continued to work and B&N full time until the day I started going back to school full time.  After I finished school (and one semester of student teaching), I immediately started working full time as a teacher.  That summer was spent traveling to various family functions and on a wonderful vacation.  We were never home for more than a week at a time.  Another year of teaching went by, and that brings us to this summer.

Up until now, my cleaning has been minimal.  The essentials get done, like bathrooms, kitchen counters, dining room table, vacuuming, etc.  But the "extra" stuff has been ignored.  Baseboards have not been cleaned, knick-knacks gather dust, windows have not been washed, mending has piled up...you get the picture.  The first week of my summer vacation was spent sleeping and visiting family.  By the time the second week rolled around, I was ready to tackle my Herculean task of cleaning four years worth of mess.  I began by attacking the kitchen.  The refrigerator was completely emptied and each shelf was washed in the sink.  The counters were completely emptied and then reorganized.  The cupboards and pantry were reorganized as well.

Then I attacked the dining room/living room.  Furniture was shifted around.  Piles of "stuff" were either thrown away or put away.  Fan blades were dusted.  The bathrooms were next.  The cupboards under the sinks were reorganized.  Counters were cleaned and re-organized to maximize space.  Finally, the time came for the task that I had been dreading: the bedroom.

Remember all of those boxes that hadn't been unpacked since college?  Yeah, some of those were sitting at the back of my closet.  For four years, if company was coming and I had stuff that needed to "disappear" without going in the trash, I would shove it under the bed or in the closet.  It was ridiculous.  After a week or so of just focusing on the bedroom/closet, I had plenty to show for my effort.  I threw away 6 garbage bags worth of stuff.  I gave 7 more bags to Goodwill.

The 7 bags of clothes (well, 1 had shoes in it)

I was flabbergasted by how much I had to get rid of.  It's not like I'm a hoarder or anything.  It's just that for years, I have had a system for throwing things away.  If it is obviously trash (old food, empty packaging, etc.), I throw it away.  If it is obviously not trash (something I use all the time), I put it away.  But then there is that weird middle ground...stuff that is slightly broken and could possibly be fixed, stuff that I don't use very often but might use someday, gifts from a loved one that I know I won't use, but don't want to chuck in the trash right after I get it.  These items are usually the ones that end up in the closet or under the bed, and as I throw them in there I promise myself that I will deal with them "later."  Well, later has come.  If clothes didn't fit anymore, I got rid of them.  If I hadn't worn them in the past year, I got rid of them.  Everything that just needed "minor repairs" but hadn't been touched in years, I threw away.  My closet and bureau were completely reorganized for ease of use.

I have to say, purging feels wonderful.  Don't get me wrong, I still love to have stuff.  I am still an American consumer, and Lord knows I love to shop.  But getting rid of junk and clutter is incredibly liberating.  I still have plenty of stuff to clean...the craft room, the computer room, the garage.  And I am definitely more of a "messy" person than a "neat" person.  But right now, my house is looking awesome and I am feeling even better.

An accurate depiction of how I am feeling

Archery lessons and caramel apples

I'm back!  I haven't been too active online lately...mainly because nothing too interesting has been happening.  Brian and I went to his cousin's wedding in June.  It was incredibly lovely and romantic.  Also, it was great to visit with his family.  In normal life, I have been cleaning and reorganizing my home.  Again, not too exciting, but it keeps me busy.  For the most part, I have been enjoying being present in my life and spending time with my very wonderful husband.

Yesterday, I had a wonderful mother-daughter day with my mom.  We began by going to South Park mall and walking around, window shopping, and catching up.  We ate lunch in the food court (the most AMAZING Greek salad wraps) and grabbed a caramel/chocolate/nut covered apple (also AMAZING) before going to the main event of the day: an archery lesson.

At this point, you might be thinking, "Well, that's a bit random."  And perhaps it was.  Learning how to shoot a bow and arrow is always something I've wanted to do, so that's what we did on our special day together.  It turned out to be a lot of fun.  My arm is slightly sore today, but I am really glad that I did it.

How I thought I looked

How I actually looked

After our lesson, we came back home and played some games with Brian and visited some more.  Eventually, it was time for my mom to leave, so we said our good-byes.  Yesterday made me realize how very lucky I am.  I'm lucky to have such an awesome mother, one who will take an archery lesson with me and wants to spend time with me.  I'm lucky to have a husband who is not threatened by my closeness with my family and actually encourages me to spend time with them.  I'm lucky in thousands of ways, even when I don't think my life is "interesting" enough to blog about.

Sisters

I just had a wonderful day with my best friends...my sisters.

The day started out pretty rough...Whiskey figured out how to open her crate from the inside.  I got some really bad news.  My spirits were low, but I had my day with my sisters to look forward to.  This day had been a long time coming.  Between work schedules, illnesses, prior obligations, and job interviews, it felt like my sisters and I would never have a chance to be together.  Finally, the day was here.

After we got some previous obligations and appointments out of the way, my wonderful husband took us to South Park Mall in Charlotte.  We walked, talked, and shopped, just enjoying each other's company.  We went out to dinner afterwards at Maggiano's.  It was delicious.  My wonderful husband then came and picked us up to take us home.

Once we were home, we all sat and talked for a good three hours.  I got caught up on all kinds of news and just enjoyed being in the company of the people I love.  As we were chatting and reminiscing about the "good old days," we mentioned playing an old game called Clyde's Adventure.  Eventually, it got pretty late and my sisters had to go home.  After they left, my husband got to work downloading a copy of the game and getting it to run in DOSBox, an emulator.  It was a very pleasant surprise, and it brought back so many wonderful memories.  I am so spoiled and loved.

Overall, it was a good day.  It was wonderful to see my sisters and reconnect.  And now, here I sit with my wonderful husband on the couch, watching an episode of Star Trek: Enterprise.  The rough beginning of the day is still troubling, but the end of the day is giving me strength to try again tomorrow.

Thank God for sisters and husbands.

The Great Yellow Jacket Battle

It began like any other morning.  Yawn, stretch, get out of bed, general morning activities...

Brian went out to the back yard to do some work on our pool.  Our dogs are outdoor dogs and they live in our fenced-in back yard.  Whiskey is our golden retriever we have had since she was a puppy.  She is super friendly and hyper, and she greeted Brian with tons of joy and excitement and kisses.  Bonnie is a rescue dog.  We think she is part golden retriever/part black lab, and she must have had some horrible traumatic experiences before we adopted her because she is incredibly shy around people.  She is very comfortable with us, but Brian's sudden appearance in the back yard made her scamper back a few feet.

After a few seconds, Brian noticed that Bonnie was behaving very strangely.  She was jumping and whirling and snapping out in the yard.  He stared at her, trying to figure out what was going on.  Then he felt a sharp sting on his thumb, looked down, and saw this:

He ran back in the house, closely followed by two dogs and a dozen or so yellow jackets (most of which came in on the dogs, stinging them several times).  At this point, I had no idea what was going on...I was still in the bathroom, getting ready for the day, blissfully unaware of the events transpiring outside.  Suddenly, heard a huge racket in the house and saw my that my two outdoor dogs were suddenly indoor dogs.  I slammed the bathroom door shut, which turned out to be lucky for me because the yellow jackets were still outside of the bathroom.

Brian valiantly killed most of the yellow jackets (I got one of them on top of the refrigerator), and then stopped to inspect his thumb.  It was now almost twice its normal size.  We inspected the dogs and found several welts where they had been stung.  Unfortunately, they probably got stung a lot more because we just had them shaved for summer.  Sorry guys, for removing your protective layer of fur (but you are probably more comfortable in this heat).  Off we went on a Benadryl run, with the dogs coming along for the ride.

We managed to get the dogs to go to the bathroom in the front yard (they refused to return to the back yard), and brought them into the house.  Brian sprayed the nest (hopefully that's the last of them) and noticed that his thumb was now three times its normal size despite being treated with a paste of baking soda, ice, and Benadryl.  Hmmm...

Now, the two dogs and Brian are taking some much deserved naps while I (the only one who did not get stung) prepare to play a little Guild Wars 2.  Dinner is in the crock pot, the house is cool and quiet...life is good.

Returning home

Brian and I just got back from a lovely weekend with my mother's side of the family.  It was a celebration of my grandfather's 80th birthday/family reunion/baby shower.  It was wonderful to see everyone and catch up on what's going on in their lives.  Also, my youngest cousins are growing like weeds.

Eventually, the weekend came to an end, as all good things do, and the time came for us to go home.  It was a long drive back (made even longer by some heavy rain).

Fortunately, this rain was followed by rainbows.

Anywho, last night we finally arrived at our house.  The lawn was looking a bit shaggy (even though Brian mowed just before we left) due to all of the rain we have been getting.  The house was a bit stuffy, as we turned off the AC before we left to cut down on our bill.  It was late, we were tired, and we still had to unpack and do laundry.  But we were home.

There is something so wonderful about being home.  I love my family and I enjoyed spending time with them, but coming home is amazing.  We got to sleep in our own bed (sheets laundered and freshly made before we left), eat our own food, sit on our own couch, and use our own internet connection (which is A LOT faster than hotel wi-fi).  But I have to say... the best part of coming home is getting to use our own toilet paper.

Yes, the toilet paper.  Brian and I are generally pretty frugal.  We buy store brands, use coupons, and wait for sales like nobody's business.  But the one area of our lives where we are willing to pay top dollar is toilet paper.  We prefer Quilted Northern.  And nowhere, not the hotel, not my parents' house, not a gas station, even came close to our accustomed level of toilet paper.  We aren't so picky that we would bring along a roll of our own TP everywhere we go, but it does make coming home all the sweeter.

And finally, our dogs will be returning today after a nice stay in a kennel.  They will come back clean, shaved, and a bit spoiled.  Life will return to normal until our next little adventure.

The first post (and the first day of the rest of my life)

Today I did not wake up to an alarm going off.  I did not need caffeine, I did not sleepily stumble to the bathroom, and I did not try to finish work left over from the night before.  Instead, I made myself two eggs on some English muffins and spent some time playing with my dogs.  This is my first morning of freedom.

Until yesterday, I was an employee of Charlotte-Mecklenburg Schools (CMS for short).  I worked at a local high school teaching Biology, Human Anatomy and Physiology, and AP Environmental Science.  I was at that high school for two years (1 semester as a student teacher, 3 as a "real" teacher).  There were parts of my job that I loved, but there were more parts that I hated.

Here is a list of some of the things I hated:

• Waking up at 4:00 AM each day
• Arriving at work at 6:30 AM each day
• Leaving work at 5:00-6:00 PM each day
• Only getting paid for the hours of 6:45 AM - 2:10 PM
• Being forced to give up my planning period on a regular basis to cover another class (almost never a science class) because the teacher had either quit and left in the middle of the year or was too lazy to get a substitute (I'm looking at you, English department)
• Working on some Saturdays for the Extended Day program (not optional)
• Paying for most of my supplies out-of-pocket
• Having to teach to the test (Biology EOC)
• Not having enough time for fun labs that could spark a love of science because I am too busy teaching to the test
• Not receiving any training for the AP course I was teaching until a month into the school year
• Snarky remarks from other teachers (non-science, of course) about how lucky I am as a first-year teacher to have an AP course (I got it because NO ONE in the science department wanted it)
• Rude or mean students
• Inconsistent enforcement of the rules (the students know exactly which administrator to go to for little to no consequences)
• Being made to feel like I am a bad teacher for writing a referral (I only had to write 2 all year)
• Parents who think their child should just be given a good grade for showing up
• Parents who think their child should pass my class after missing over a month of school with no valid reason and no attempt to make up the missed time
• Parents who don't care at all ("He's your problem when he's at school." <-- actual quote)
• Still being held accountable for the EOC scores of students who miss the entire semester because they were in prison/having a baby/ran away from home and decide to show up for the last 3 days of the semester (because even if I haven't actually taught the student, they are an accurate reflection of my teaching)
• Teaching "common core standards" to students who can barely read or write
• Grading English papers that supposedly were seen by an English teacher that don't have a single comma, period, or paragraph indentation
• Being told not to grade these English papers (for the student's senior project, by the way) on grammar, spelling, or sentence structure
• Having students fail those papers anyway, despite the EXTREMELY lenient grading
• A guidance department that is completely inept
• School boards and governments that are so far removed from what I deal with each day giving me more and more tasks that serve absolutely no purpose
• The lack of money

Here is a list of some of the things I loved:

• The teachers I got to work with each day (the Biology PLC was the BEST)
• Summer vacation and holidays off
• Grossing my students out with YouTube videos of bodily functions
• Discussing and debating bioethics and biotechnology with my students
• The look on a student's face when they finally understand a concept
• The look on a student's face when they dissect a fetal pig for the first time (a great combination of disgust and awe)
• Listening to students talk to each other during group work (and sometimes jumping into the conversation)
• Being told I am the coolest teacher ever because I play video games/watch Doctor Who/know first aid/like Duke over UNC
• The shocked look on a student's face when they realize I know what "adult" topic they are talking about using slang
• How impressed my students get with how long my hair is (and the fact that it isn't weave)
• Being told that I am someone's favorite teacher
• Being told that I am the reason someone is majoring in Biology or some medical related field
• Feeling like a rock star when I am seen outside of class
• Students who come back to see me after they have graduated and tell me how my class totally helps them in college
• Students who cried when I announced that I would not be returning next year
• Students who said that they had already signed up for another one of my classes and were upset they wouldn't get to have me again
• Knowing that I actually made a difference in so many lives (hopefully a good difference)

Looking at these lists makes me incredibly sad.  I am an awesome teacher.  Yes, I am still learning the ropes and figuring out classroom management, but I know my content, I am passionate about learning, and I love my students.  I had a lot of good experiences at my school.  I love teaching.  The sad reality is that I (and teachers like me) have been driven away by a variety of factors.  Most of these factors could be easily fixed, and I feel that if just half of them were removed, I would be staying.

My parents are teachers.  The most influential people in my life were teachers.  I don't mind the small paycheck, as long as I get enough to live off of.  I don't mind people thinking my job is easy or trivial, as long as I don't get treated like crap.  I don't even mind having large classes, as long as I get support when I need it and enough materials to teach them.  

In the end, I looked ahead and asked myself, "Can I do this for another 30 years?"  The answer was "No."  Why should I waste any more of my life at this job if it is not what I truly want to do?  The only logical conclusion was to quit.  Which brings me to this morning... my first morning of freedom.  What comes next?  My husband and I will probably try to start a family.  I might go finish up my masters.  And someday, I might return to teaching.  It will not be in a public school in North Carolina.  I might teach again in another state, or at a private school, or a community college, etc.  I have been used and abused by this state, and I will not be returning to teaching in a public school here until there are some drastic changes.

Well, that's the first blog post.  Hopefully, more will come.